Princess Revolution
by Majestic Ribbons
Summary: Fairy tales are not always accurate. In this case, fairy tales are seriously jacked-up, Konoha-style.
1. Duck Lake

**Title: Princess Revolution**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Humor**

**Disclaimer: Naruto does not not belong to me, not does the fairy tales feautred in this fanfiction.  
**

**Summary: Fairy tales are not always accurate. In this case, fairy tales are seriously jacked-up, Konoha-style.**

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**Duck Lake**

.

It was a peaceful afternoon.

"SHIKAMARU!"

The shriek pierced the silence, and Prince Shikamaru winced.

He rolled his eyes and looked at his tutor. "I apologize, Asuma-sensei. Mother seems to be in a bitchy mood right now."

Asuma nodded. "Of course, Shikamaru. You better go now."

Shikamaru sighed. "This is so troublesome..."

**X-x-X**

Queen Yoshina scowled. "Shikamaru, your father has something to say to you!"

King Shikaku rolled his eyes. "Get married, kid."

Yoshina's scowl deepened and he whacked her husband's head. "Don't say it like that, you good-for-nothing..."

Naturally, Shikamaru did nothing but sit on his throne, bored. "Get on with it."

Shikaku rolled his eyes. Again. "Son, now that you've come of age, you should get married, and father some children."

"...Do I have a choice in the matter?" Shikamaru asked.

"No." Yoshina said, "So pick a princess."

"What are my choices?" Shikamaru asked.

Yoshina chucked a file at her only son.

Sighing, Shikamaru flipped through the file.

Princess Temari ("Too troublesome, it'd be like marrying a younger version of my mother...")

Princess Tenten ("Engaged already...")

Princess Ami ("HELL NO!")

Princess Hinata ("...Isn't she a handmaiden now...? Oh, who cares, I'll consider her.")

Princess Hanabi ("What is she, thirteen?! I'm not marrying a kid.")

Princess Ino ("Disappeared...")

Shikamaru looked at his parents. "None of these are good choices, except for Hinata."

Shikaku raised an eyebrow. "Is Ino in there?"

"Yeah, but what's that have to do with anything? She disappeared..." Shikamaru trailed off. "Oh no."

"Oh yes." Shikaku smirked.

In the background, Yoshina started wailing,"My baby's getting married! I'm OLD now!"

And that, my friends, is how Shikamaru was kicked out of the castle with his horse, his tutor, and ten handheld bags of gold to search for a disappeared princess.

It must suck to be him.

**X-x-X**

"...This isn't going to work, Asuma." Shikamaru complained.

"It might." Asuma said, chewing on a chicken leg.

"We've been out here for weeks."Shikamaru said flatly.

"That's a good point." Asuma said, tapping his chin. "Hey, Shikamaru, there's a lake there, go get us some food."

"Okay. "Shikamaru mumbled. "Hey, what did you just say?!"

**X-x-X**

"I hate this stupid search, I hate this stupid life, I hate this stupid fishing pole!" Shikamaru yelled in frustration.

The sun was setting already.

Angrily, a white swan bit him and tried to heard him away from the lake.

"What the fuck?"

The sun's last rays of light were already fading from the sky.

"Shit." A feminine voice muttered.

Shikamaru stared at the swan. "The bird just swore. I must be going crazy."

"What the fuck, Shikamaru. I'm not a bird." the swan snapped, flapping its wings indignantly.

Beams of light glowed from inside from the swan, blinding Shikamaru for a few seconds.

When he could see again, he looked for the swan.

In its place stood a young woman with long, flowing light blond hair. Her blue eyes glared at Shikamaru, her hands on her waist. Her light blue slippers tapped the dirt ground impatiently. "I'm waiting for an explanation, Shikamaru."

It was Princess Ino of the Yamanaka Kingdom.

_Oh shit._

**X-x-X**

"Princess!" Sakura called. She glanced at her fellow handmaiden, Ayame. "Where could Ino-sama be?"

Ayame shrugged. "Dunno."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you worried?"

"Ino's no idiot. She can take care of herself." Ayame said. "She can take anyone down with her fencing skills."

"But she doesn't have a sword to fence with." Sakura said slowly.

Ayame's eyes widened. "Oh shit."

**X-x-X**

"Okay, let me get this straight." Shikamaru said. "Some crazy witch named Orochimaru kidnapped you and your two servants and cast a spell on you girls so that you are only humans at night, and swans in the day."

"Actually, I'm a swan, the other two are ducks."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I don't believe you."

"Why?" Ino demanded.

"Well, let's see, shall we? You love attention. You ran away from home because you didn't get enough attention with your brothers around, and you are obviously making this stupid story up for attention."

Ino stomped her foot. "I'M NOT MAKING IT UP! I TALKED TO YOU AS A SWAN!"

Shikamaru yawned. "You could've tossed that sunstone your mother gave you at the swan,kicked the bird out of the way and took its place before I could see again."

"I TALKED TO YOU AS A BIRD!"

"Correction, the swan opened its beak and you talked."

Ino glared at Shikamaru. "I'm not lying to you Shikamaru."

"If you say so." Shikamaru said.

"She's not lying, Shikamaru."A voice behind them said.

"ASUMA?!" Ino screamed. "I missed you, you stinkin' bastard!"

"What do you mean she's not lying, Asuma?" Shikamaru asked.

"Orochimaru is very known for turning humans into animals by day and humans by night. " Asuma said.

"How do you know that, Asuma?" Ino asked curiously.

"My horse used to be Kurenai." Asuma said, puffing away on his pipe. "I was going to proposed to her, but I proposed to Orochimaru's snake when Orochimaru disguised it as Kurenai. She's a horse forever now, well until one of Orochimaru's victims is humanized again."

Shikamaru remembered something. "Oh, Ino. My dad told me to marry you."

"What the hell, I don't wanna marry you!" Ino shouted indignantly. "I appreaciate that you saved me and all, but I wanna marry Sasuke-kun!"

"Well, how do I break this stupid spell of yours?" Shikamaru asked.

"I dunno, something about pledge of love in front of witnesses or something." Ino mumbled.

"Well, can't we just lie about it?"

"Damn, you really are a genius."

**X-x-X**

"You hear that, Kabuto-kun?" Orochimaru asked his faithful servant, who was observing the three behind a bush with him.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto said dutifully. "Do you have a plan?"

"Yes indeed, Kabuto." Orochimaru smiled happily. "How do you feel about wearing pink?"

**X-x-X**

**A week later...**

Shikamaru carried Ino Swan through the castle gates as Asuma carried Sakura Duck and Ayame Duck behind him.

"Hey, old man!" Shikamaru yelled.

Shikaku raised an eyebrow at his only son. "Yea?"

"I love this swan." Shikamaru said, silently daring him to protest.

Shikaku shook his head. "Son, you can't marry a bird..."

He trailed off as Shikamaru placed Ino Swan on the ground and Asuma placed her handmaidens down on the ground too.

Beams of light shone from within and transformed them into humans again.

" 'Sup King Shikaku!" Ino said cheerfully.

"Ino?" Shikaku asked.

Shikamaru pretended to look surprised. "You! You're Ino?! I don't love you anymore!"

"Oh, that's stupid, Shikamaru! You fell in love with a swan and not me?!" Ino huffed. "I'm going to Prince Sasuke!"

She walked out of the throne room, seemingly angry.

**X-x-X**

Kabuto twitched. "Orochimaru-sama!"

Orochimaru smiled. "Yes, Kabuto?"

They were peeking through the throne room's window.

"Why did you make me wear a dress when you weren't even going to trick them?!"

Orochimaru grinned innocently. "I just felt like it."

**X-x-X**

However, since Shikamaru had found Ino, King Inochi was so happy that he gave her in marriage to Shikamaru.

So he ended up marrying her anyway.

But on the bright side, Asuma finally got to marry Kurenai!

But sadly, Ino nagged Shikamaru, just like his mother.

And they lived naggily ever after.

_**THE END**_

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**I guess that you would call this random inspriation? My friends and I were talking about our favorite fairy tales, and the parts we hated about it. So I decided that I would remake the fairy tales. Uh, also it's supposed to be parody-ish, but I decided to make it Romance/Humor. Also, I take suggestion for this too. Ja ne!**

**- Majestic Ribbons**


	2. Inolocks and the Three Emos

**Title: Princess Revolution**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Humor**

**Disclaimer: Naruto does not not belong to me, not does the fairy tales feautred in this fanfiction.  
**

**Summary: Fairy tales are not always accurate. In this case, fairy tales are seriously jacked-up, Konoha-style.**

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**Inolocks and the Three Emos  
**

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There once lived a girl named Inolocks.

She had incredibly beautiful and long golden hair, eyes the color of a warm summer sky, and pale skin with a rosy glow.

Inolocks lived with her father, Inoichi, the local blacksmith.

Inoichi didn't earn much, but he made a profitable living.

Inolocks's life was good.

However, Inolocks got lost in the woods one day, and couldn't find her way home.

But luckily, she discovered a little cottage. (If you could call a small house painted black a cottage.)

Okay, let's just call it the Emo-looking Cottage.

**X-x-X**

"Shino, hurry up with those omelets!" Sasuke shouted, waving his fist in the air.

"I don't see _you_ helping with the housework, Mr. I'm-Too-Good-To-Do-Anything-But-Is-Really-Just-A-Lazyass." Shino muttered, tying a light pink apron with the words 'Kiss the Cook' on it.

Neji raised an eyebrow. "Uh, Shino? No offense, but could you at least change the apron? There are no babes in the woods."

_Knock. Knock._

"What the hell?" Sasuke said, glancing at the door.

"No answer?" Someone on the outside asked. "Who cares? I'm coming in!"

"Oh my god." Shino said under his breath.

The door crashed to the ground, Inolocks standing triumphantly.

Shino turned to Neji. "See, there _are_ babes in the woods!"

Inolocks glanced around the cottage. "Hey guys! Nice place you got here. I haven't seen you guys since Konoha kicked you out for being too emo!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing here Inolocks?"

"Got lost." Inolocks shrugged. "Hey, you got any food?"

"Shino's making omelets." Neji said, turning back to his copy of Woodland News.

"Sweet, can I get some?" Inolocks asked. "And can you guys give me some directions?"

"Sure." Neji shrugged. "Hey, can you give Uncle this?"

He handed her a piece of paper.

Written on the piece of paper was this :

Dear Uncle,

Need more chicken eggs, mushrooms, peppers, cheese, and ham.

Send food.

Also, give Hinata some flu medicine, she'll have a flu tomorrow.

Happy Birthday.

- Neji

Inolocks glanced around the cottage some more. "...So, got milk?"

"Yeah." Sasuke scoffed. "It's in the 'fridge."

Inolocks smiled. "Thanks DBH!"

"DBH?" Sasuke asked, confusion written clearly on his face.

"Duck Butt Hair." Inolocks explained. "Itachi-san started it after the village kicked you out."

"SCREW YOU ITACHI!" Sasuke yelled. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

Inolocks headed for the fridge.

Neji hit his forehead. "Sasuke, don't you remember Inolocks is really bad with machines?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What's your point?"

"She'll make the fridge go 'BOOM' "

"Oh shit."

**X-x-X**

Moments later, Inolocks and the three emos were headed back to Konoha.

"This is all your fault." Neji muttered as he struggled with the kitchen table.

"How is it my fault?" Sasuke asked.

"You were the one that didn't get the milk for her." Neji snapped.

"How was I supposed to remember that she has a talent for blowing things up?" Sasuke retorted.

"Both of you, SHUT UP!" Inolocks demanded.

"Yes, ma'm." Neji and Sasuke murmured in unison.

"MA'M?!" Inolocks yelled. "I'M NOT OLD YOU STINKIN' BASTARDS! I'M ONLY THIRTEEN YEARS OLD!"

"Oh shit."

**X-x-X**

_Knock. Knock._

"Dad!" Inolocks cried from the other side of the door.

Inoichi answered the door. " Inolocks-hime!" He then noticed the three emos. "Why're they here?"

"Oh, their cottage blew up when I opened the fridge." Inolocks said innocently.

"That doesn't make any sense." Inoichi said, "But,I'm just happy you're home, Inolocks-hime."

"Hey, Honey!" Inolock's mother called from the kitchen. "WHO'S AT THE DOOR?!"

"INOLOCKS-HIME AND NEJI AND SHINO AND SASUKE!" Inoichi yelled back.

"THE THREE EMO KIDS?!"

Meanwhile, Hiashi happened to walk by. "Hey Neji."

He was three blocks away before something clicked in his brain. "NEJI?!"

**_The End_**

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**Yeah, I'm sorry it wasn't as long as Duck Lake, but I kinda like it. It's funny at the end where Hiashi's all "NEJI?!"**

**Reviews welcome. Criticism welcome.**


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